BRITAIN TRAPPED UNDER TWO FEET OF GLOBAL WARMING BULLSHIT

Andy Hunt · Post by **Andy Hunt** » 25 Nov 2010, 17:36

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/soci ... 011253286/

BRITAIN ground to a standstill today after the heaviest November global warming bullshit in more than a decade.

Across the country thousands of people found themselves trapped in pubs by a relentless blizzard of tedious, predictable observations by the sort of people who post comments on the Daily Mail website.

The Met Office said there was around 24 inches of dreary, ill-informed piss in most parts of the UK, while strong winds could cause bullshit drifts up to 40ft deep.

Tom Logan, who is trapped in a pub in Stevenage, said: "I popped into the White Hart for a few triple vodkas before I went back to work and there was Geoff just sitting there. With his newspaper.

"I could see it coming towards me like a huge, dark cloud full of utter f***ing shit about things that he does not even begin to understand.

"It started with a flurry of statistics that simply aren't true and then the really heavy stuff came down - 'so why is it so cold?' and 'it's all a Marxist conspiracy' which was, of course, followed immediately by 'that Al Gore is a billionaire, you know'.

"It stopped, very briefly, while he ordered another Guinness and then he just dumped this massive, disgusting comment about Africans right into the middle of my head. Thank God I wasn't driving."

Dr Julian Cook, a senior research fellow at the Institute for Studies, said: "One of the nastier effects of the global warming debate is that a lot of people - Daily Mail readers, fuckers, that kind of thing - seem to think climate science is based on looking out the window.

"So, over the next couple of days, if someone says to you 'I suppose this is so-called climate change?' just say 'yes, it f***ing is actually'."

Meanwhile, Logan said he still hoped to dig himself out before sunset, adding: "At this time of year I always carry my bollocks shovel and a pair of tennis rackets, but it will take me a while to get out of here because as you can see he is still going on and on and on and on.

"If he even starts to say 'we could probably do with a bit of global warming' I am going to try and kill myself with this flare gun"

re · Post by re » 25 Nov 2010, 18:11

Great stuff.

Kieran · Post by **Kieran** » 26 Nov 2010, 12:54

RenewableCandy · Post by **RenewableCandy** » 30 Nov 2010, 22:10

D'you know I think I've actually been to the White Hart in Stevenage...and survived???

2 As and a B · Post by **2 As and a B** » 01 Dec 2010, 07:06

Oh dear! The Mail-reading in-laws are due to visit today.

2 As and a B · Post by **2 As and a B** » 01 Dec 2010, 10:06

I thought as much! They have just phoned to cancel this week's visit. They live only about 5 minutes drive away, not in another county. He couldn't resist a quick "So this is global warming?"

RenewableCandy · Post by **RenewableCandy** » 01 Dec 2010, 17:19

I hope you replied as recommended in the article

??

DominicJ · Post by **DominicJ** » 07 Dec 2010, 08:38

http://www.independent.co.uk/environmen ... 24017.html

Monday, 20 March 2000

However, the warming is so far manifesting itself more in winters which are less cold than in much hotter summers. According to Dr David Viner, a senior research scientist at the climatic research unit (CRU) of the University of East Anglia,within a few years winter snowfall will become "a very rare and exciting event".

"Children just aren't going to know what snow is," he said.

Heavy snow will return occasionally, says Dr Viner, but when it does we will be unprepared. "We're really going to get caught out. Snow will probably cause chaos in 20 years time," he said.

If my predictions were twice the actual result, I'd be sacked!

But hey, when its unusualy cold, its weather, when its unusualy warm, its climate right guys...

Andy Hunt · Post by **Andy Hunt** » 07 Dec 2010, 08:44

What is inaccurate about the prediction? Seems absolutely spot on to me. My two young nephews are absolutely revelling in it, this winter is only the second time they have seen snow. And have we not yet again been caught out by it, because we get it so rarely that it is just not worth spending the money on snow ploughs etc?

DominicJ · Post by **DominicJ** » 07 Dec 2010, 09:17

What is inaccurate about the prediction? Seems absolutely spot on to me.

He said snow will cause chaos in 20 years, it was actualy less than 7.
He said it will be rare, yet its been the worst I can remember for three of the 10 years since the prediction.

And of course, what exactly did he predict?
His comments have a ring of "The lottery will be won by a man, or a woman, or will roll over".

Andy Hunt · Post by **Andy Hunt** » 07 Dec 2010, 09:29

By my reckoning, 2009-2000=9 years, not less than 7. And why do you take 2000 as your baseline? The last severe winter was a long time before that.

And globally, this year was one of the hottest ever, if not the hottest.

Breaking news! The weather forecast is sometimes a bit out.

2 As and a B · Post by **2 As and a B** » 07 Dec 2010, 11:40

DominicJ is now a leading climatologist.

Andy Hunt · Post by **Andy Hunt** » 07 Dec 2010, 12:09

biffvernon · Post by **biffvernon** » 07 Dec 2010, 13:24

Is that a picture of dominicJ? I shall have to revise my ideas.

RenewableCandy · Post by **RenewableCandy** » 07 Dec 2010, 14:00

<anti-Blonde comment deleted>