How many of us have kids?

[contadino]

An increase in the none breeding male population just leaves more women for the rest of us.
A single male can impregnate hundreds of women, a single woman cant be impregnated by hundreds of men.

I'm sure there's a queue outside your door.

[Keela]

I'm 29, my husband is 40, and we've got no children, which has been a constant source of grief to me for many years......

Sympathies Shira. In truth, I can only imagine the pain.

I have a friend who, when she realised she would never have children, described her feelings as akin to a bereavement, but without the level of sympathy that a "true" bereavement brings. I understand that many marriages don't survive the trauma.

Wishing you strength to enjoy other people's children - not that that helps much - but I know my kids love to visit their childless aunt and uncle.

[Shira]

Thanks, Keela. Your friend is absolutely right - the attitude towards involuntarily childless people is often appalling - it frequently goes beyond callous and insensitive right into hostile, so when someone responds with kindness it's a pleasant change. Thankfully, my marriage has grown even stronger as we've gone through all this crap together, though past relationships have suffered in the way so many do. People underestimate the massive impact infertility can often have on one's life.
My last miscarriage was pretty recent - I should be coming up for 33 weeks at the moment - so I'm still keeping my distance from other people's kids, though one or two friends who've been supportive and sensitive are coming over in the next few months with their smallpeople and I hope to enjoy the visits. I'm not sure whether to talk to those friends about PO and climate change and the like, because few people want to acknowledge the truth about the future their kids will have to face, but at the same time I feel it's important to give them the knowledge they need in order to start preparing.

[Adam1]

Is Britain becoming a one-child nation?

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/ ... d-families

Relevant to this thread, in case anyone's interested...the article concludes that there is no clear evidence that single child families adversely affect the child's future/development.

Although two children remains the most common family size in the UK, the latest figures from the Office for National Statistics indicate a steady rise in the number of only children. In 1972, 18 per cent of children were living in a one-child household. This had risen to 22 per cent in 1981, remaining at a steady level until 1991 and rising again to 24 per cent in 2001. By 2007, the last year for which figures are available, 26 per cent of the UK's children were living without siblings.

[Adam1]

I'm 29, my husband is 40, and we've got no children, which has been a constant source of grief to me for many years; I started trying for a child when I was 20 because I knew I'd have trouble, I've had eight miscarriages, and am finding it extremely difficult to cope with all my friends and family having baby after baby around me. For various reasons, we can't try for kids any more and we can't adopt. However, as it's become clear exactly what we're all heading for and how difficult and unpleasant life is going to become, it's some small (and very cold) comfort that I'm never going to be a mother - it's frightening enough knowing what we're all going to have to deal with, without feeling responsible for bringing someone else into this mess.

I sympathise too Shira. It is really tough. Although no replacement, I hope that there are or will be children in your life that you can have a meaningful and mutually enriching relationship with.

[Shira]

Thanks, Adam - my younger brother's getting married this year, and no doubt there'll be a sprog on the way soon and that's one I definitely won't be able to avoid, so maybe I'll enjoy being an aunt more than I expect.

[Adam1]

Thanks, Adam - my younger brother's getting married this year, and no doubt there'll be a sprog on the way soon and that's one I definitely won't be able to avoid, so maybe I'll enjoy being an aunt more than I expect.