Allotments get night guards

Kieran · Post by **Kieran** » 06 Sep 2008, 15:24

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/ ... hefts.html

OrraLoon · Post by **OrraLoon** » 06 Sep 2008, 18:34

Let's hope they knock the night soil out of any neddy intruders.

Bandidoz · Post by **Bandidoz** » 06 Sep 2008, 20:20

This, coupled with metal theft, is what I associate with the "Mad Max" scenario. It's happening!

RenewableCandy · Post by **RenewableCandy** » 06 Sep 2008, 22:14

When I was in Russia in 1993, shops in St Petersburg selling chocolate had security guards.

Kieran · Post by **Kieran** » 06 Sep 2008, 23:32

RenewableCandy wrote:When I was in Russia in 1993, shops in St Petersburg selling chocolate had security guards.

That sounds like a great plot for a tv advert selling Mars bars or something

Pani Kova · Post by **Pani Kova** » 07 Sep 2008, 15:10

I am starting to feel that my SAS training is going to come in handy sooner than I thought. Remember folks, if you have no weapon handy, go for one of the following options: tangle, dangle, mangle or strangle!

(Shame I'm 5 ft 3 and weigh 7 and a half stone)

Kentucky Fried Panda · Post by **Kentucky Fried Panda** » 07 Sep 2008, 15:18

Bandidoz wrote:This, coupled with metal theft, is what I associate with the "Mad Max" scenario. It's happening!

if you look like food you will get eaten. or if the thieves are vegetarians, your allotment will be emptied for you. I say it's those damn hippies...

Blue Peter · Post by **Blue Peter** » 08 Sep 2008, 09:23

Pani Kova wrote:Remember folks, if you have no weapon handy, go for one of the following options: tangle, dangle, mangle or strangle!

I think that I understand 'strangle', but I'm not too clear on the other 3?

Peter.

Pani Kova · Post by **Pani Kova** » 08 Sep 2008, 13:13

I could tell you.... but then I'd have to kill you. Why not go on this course? http://www.sassurvival.co.uk/euroedit/e ... _woods.php

P.S. I am not being paid to promote SAS Suvival courses (said with hands tied firmly behind back and sock stuffed in mouth):

Blue Peter · Post by **Blue Peter** » 08 Sep 2008, 13:50

Pani Kova wrote:I could tell you.... but then I'd have to kill you. Why not go on this course? http://www.sassurvival.co.uk/euroedit/e ... _woods.php

P.S. I am not being paid to promote SAS Suvival courses (said with hands tied firmly behind back and sock stuffed in mouth):

Interesting. From the blurb, these options come under "catching food". Are you planning to go "Hannibal Lector" with those who cross you?

Peter.

RenewableCandy · Post by **RenewableCandy** » 08 Sep 2008, 16:21

Blue Peter wrote:
Pani Kova wrote:I could tell you.... but then I'd have to kill you. Why not go on this course? http://www.sassurvival.co.uk/euroedit/e ... _woods.php

P.S. I am not being paid to promote SAS Suvival courses (said with hands tied firmly behind back and sock stuffed in mouth):
Interesting. From the blurb, these options come under "catching food". Are you planning to go "Hannibal Lector" with those who cross you?

Peter.

Can you blame her? At 7 1/2 stone the poor lass needs to put on a bit of weight

I like the idea of a Suvival course...how to get by with nothing but a very large car!
[/pedant]

Pani Kova · Post by **Pani Kova** » 08 Sep 2008, 20:05

Too ruddy right. I'm famished. A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.