Does your partner understand you?

[Vortex]

Mrs Vortex gets it 110% ...

That'll be the same 110% as in "we are going to burn 110% of the world's oil"

???

[Miss Madam]

I have to say I'm a little abashed for my gender, so many women are excused as not wanting to understand PO because of looking after little ones - I should imagine that if I had kids I would be even more interested, surely anything else is just putting your head in the sand, and consigning not only yourself but your offspring to an uncertain future? Have we women been more susceptible to the consumerism bubble? Are we more delicate in constitution that our partners shy away from talking about the hard realities of the world? It really seems like it. I for one actually left my partner because he didn't believe the party was about to come to an end and wouldn't support me. And to be honest, I am a lot happier since - I think the Spanish sum it up well with the saying 'better alone, than badly accompanied' - at what stage does dragging a recalcitrant partner in denial along become too much of a liability? I certainly felt that I was being held back by a partner who wanted to spend our money on meals out when I wanted to prep'.... being free and single also has advantages in terms of mobility. Although admittedly if TSHTF then being a woman on her own is not good, but I don't think I'm placid enough to make good wife material, and I certainly wouldn't want a partner who felt he had to 'shield' me from the harsh realities we face... women are not made of glass

[Andy Hunt]

I don't think I'm placid enough to make good wife material, and I certainly wouldn't want a partner who felt he had to 'shield' me from the harsh realities we face... women are not made of glass

You obviously haven't met my good lady . . . 'placid' is not a word I would use to describe her!! And more often than not it is she who accuses me of having my head in the clouds . . .

It's all about meeting the right person who balances you out. Nothing to do with male/female.

[Pip Tiddlepip]

Couldn't agree more with Andy, it's nothing to do with gender. I'm a gay woman, I'm the "peaker" in our house, and my partner is somewhere between the top two as well. She said to me the other week, "I'm not quite as into it as you, but I'm getting there." And that's fine by me.

Perhaps some women just don't want to face reality, and yes, that may be to do with children, or wanting children. My best friend has a ten week old baby. I told her the other day that I'll be sharing my wood and paper log supplies with her this winter, as "Bad times are coming". she shuddered and said "Don't say that", in such a way that I knew she knew, but just chose to ignore it.

[SunnyJim]

so many women are excused as not wanting to understand PO because of looking after little ones - I should imagine that if I had kids I would be even more interested, surely anything else is just putting your head in the sand, and consigning not only yourself but your offspring to an uncertain future?

My wife understands PO, but when you've got little ones, its very hard to find the time that you want to find to do anything about it. When you are looking after kids immediate problems are more pressing. i.e. Getting some food cooked to feed them etc etc...

So its not a case of not understanding, but more a case of more immediate pressing priorities. I feel it too. I'd be living in a Yurt on New Zealand's South Island if it wasn't for the more pressing problem of having to pick the kids up from Nursery this afternoon.

i.e. When you've got kids you just don't have the time for PO. You know you have to get them at least walking and understanding the word 'no' before you can leave them to play in the garden while you plan out your brassicas!

[leroy]

I have to say I'm a little abashed for my gender, so many women are excused as not wanting to understand PO

I have to say that I find it incredibly difficult to get through a date without talking about PO, as it just seems so pertinent to most of what I see going on nowadays, and hence slips so easily into conversation. As a general rule, if I cannot avoid the P subject, I don't get laid. Example - I was having coffee with a lovely girl the other weekend and she asked me straight out if I wanted children. I could, and probably should have said 'don't know, haven't given it any thought really' which would have been a complete lie, but I didn't, as I like and respect this woman, and briefly ran through my concerns about the future, then went home (alone), finished off reading Lovelock's 'Revenge of Gaia' and then felt too depressed to do anything other than go to bed early. Tricky isn't it - I have to say I am increasingly thinking of taking the Machiavellian stance, just use people and pursue fun until meeting with oblivion in 5 or 15 years or whatever. God, I've just reread the above - how depressing.

[Miss Madam]

I raised my ex's little girl from 11 months to 4 years old after her Mum died, so I am aware that kids take work, and time, and this was a little one (whose first language wasn't English, but Afrikaans, which I didn't speak) who was very traumatised about her Mum's death and forced to move to the UK to live with me and her Dad who she barely knew, but to say that you have no time when you have kids ain't exactly true. I managed to get an MSc whilst looking after her, learnt (baby!) Afrikaans and taught her english, worked, and discovered PO and started to make preps. People have been having kids since we became people, but to hear some folk you would think that having a rugrat around is akin to being a quadraplegic. I can't do anything, no one should ask me to do anything, I have kids. it's like the Daily Mail - Think of the children! Think of the hard-working families... (It's usually considered politically incorrect to tell struggling families to stop having more kids they can't afford...) I think our society makes the experience of raising a family far more difficult than it has to be, and that probably is because folk that think they are not up to a task are far better consumers, i.e. junior won't be able to sleep until I buy Johnson's lavendar baby sleep easy bathbubbles etc (ad nauseum). I am a bit annoyed though, (surely not ) where are all of the women on this forum posting that they get it but their partners' don't... why are the vast majority of PO aware folk - blokes? Obviously there are exceptions but the trend is definitely that PO seems to be an issue that more men 'get' than women... Any ideas why?

[leroy]

... Any ideas why?

More men working in IT hence surfing for porn on the 'net hence more likely to stumble across Matt Savinar, thats my theory.

[Eternal Sunshine]

My partntner "gets" PO no problem, but we disagree with how to prepare for it. He prefers to wait & see what happens, and recently said he believed the government will eventually have to come up with something and it'll all be ok. I would rather be preparing to live off grid, get pigeon trapping equipment (despite being a veggie for over half my life) and buy a shotgun.

The result is that currently we are doing more or less nothing except playing about with our allotment & using our bikes more. This is very frustrating for me & I'm getting quietly more & more stressed about it.

[Eternal Sunshine]

I was having coffee with a lovely girl the other weekend and she asked me straight out if I wanted children. I could, and probably should have said 'don't know, haven't given it any thought really' which would have been a complete lie, but I didn't, as I like and respect this woman, and briefly ran through my concerns about the future, then went home (alone), finished off reading Lovelock's 'Revenge of Gaia' and then felt too depressed to do anything other than go to bed early.

Leroy this is great - made me laugh out loud. (Not at you - with you). At least you didn't embark on a relationship which would have ended in conflict if you both had different views on having kids. As said elsewhere, having a non PO partner is more stressful than being alone.

[leroy]

Mmm, yes, the 'right thing to do' perhaps, but not 'the right thing to do if you want to get laid'. We have needs as animals, don't we, and Mr Lovelock's wonderful book had pissed on my barbeque to such an extent that I was too depressed to resort to onanism.

How about a 'Transition City Bristol Dating Agency' eh? Might have to recalibrate my tastes to a slightly higher age range for that, though.

[Pippa]

I voted no its damaging our relationship, although that isn't strickly true as husband left me in January for my best mate! (well never could get either of them to understand the issues - best mates husband originally lent me a copy of The Long Emergency and he is now toast too )

So, I will proceed into the Long Emergency not bothering to listen to the gloom on the tv about the price of oil, food, credit crises etc as its all old news to me.

I am walking alot and preparing to become much poorer, much more quickly than I anticipated because of peak oil as I now look forward to selling the family home and dividing all assets in a falling market.

Who said life was simple? THEY WERE WRONG.

[Miss Madam]

... Any ideas why?

More men working in IT hence surfing for porn on the 'net hence more likely to stumble across Matt Savinar, thats my theory.

Haha, whereas we ladies would never scour the net for such pages.... errrr....

I think it doesn't matter if you are a bloke or a bird, if you are on a date with someone who isn't PO aware, they look at you like you are a nutter, I think I have been out for drinks a few times with blokes who would have preferred me talking about shoes, shopping, hello magazine - god even children and weddings rather than PO and macro-economic tidal waves. Its cognitive dissonance innit. Too depressed for onanism, good grief... that is serious

[SunnyJim]

I voted no its damaging our relationship, although that isn't strickly true as husband left me in January for my best mate! (well never could get either of them to understand the issues - best mates husband originally lent me a copy of The Long Emergency and he is now toast too )

So, I will proceed into the Long Emergency not bothering to listen to the gloom on the tv about the price of oil, food, credit crises etc as its all old news to me.

I am walking alot and preparing to become much poorer, much more quickly than I anticipated because of peak oil as I now look forward to selling the family home and dividing all assets in a falling market.

Who said life was simple? THEY WERE WRONG.

Oh, Pippa! I'm really sorry to hear that. Especially nasty that best mates were involved. Makes the betrayal all the worse. Do you have children to consider?

[leroy]

blokes who would have preferred me talking about shoes, shopping, hello magazine

I remember being into my office at the Preston CPS for the first time a couple of years ago by my manager who said 'good to see another bloke coming into the office, as I'm the only one up 'til now' and finding myself confronted by 19 women, most of them quite fit. I reckon that there are quite a lot of tasty girls up north, notwithstanding the orange umpa-lumpa body paint that many of them seem so keen on. Looks and tastes horrid, that stuff. Anywayz, I found myself confronted with this celestial vision and thought it was Chrimbo. Fast forward two months and I was thinking about taking a couple of Neurofens with my liquid lunch in order to faze out the reality of my environment somewhat. Weddings, heat magazine, babies, Primark....' god I wanted to kill myself. Not saying that being surrounded by an entire room of blokes leering at Page 3 is much better of course. Anyway, I think what I am trying to say is that I would give a kidney to find a single, PO aware doris with intellectual conversation. What d'you reckon the acronym for that is in Lonley Hearts speak eh?