Oh, I can accept it. There is no such thing as an "ought to be". Things 'are'. 'Ought to be' is all made up.snow hope wrote:You sound like a perfectionist Tess?
The trouble with us perfectionists is that unless things are as we think they ought to be, we get upset. Now some of us can accept that situation and go on, but some, like you Tess continue to be upset.
I am about as far from a believer in ought-to-be as it is possible to get. I am actually hurt to be included in that category of souls who 'continue to be upset'. This is the greatest insult to my spiritual pride
I am not one of those who believes in an absolute sense of justice and injustice and walks around full of bitterness that the universe is not acting fairly in my or others' lives. Quite the contrary. I feel no bitterness at all. I am occasionally angry, sometimes at my parents, sometimes at society, but this is an autonomic reaction to memories of the past and dreams of the future. It has no reality beyond the moment of experience.
Am I perfectionist? Yes and no. 'Yes', I have a tendency to see inefficiencies that others do not, and find them hard to ignore. 'No', because I realise that imperfection does not exist except in my mind.
But since everything I perceive exists through my mind, the imperfection is as real as anything can be. Therefore I may as well allow the anger to move me rather than sit here in peace.
In any case, underneath the anger and frustration, peace continues.
There is no need to try and fix me. Accept me and move on, as you recommend I do for the circumstances that annoy me.
Though I appreciate the attention. I'm proud like that.