Yearning and Longing

[RevdTess]

Ever since my trip to Snowdonia and to C.A.T., I've been missing the quietude of the great outdoors. My mind is beginning to home in on something, some primal desire to be away from the city and all its conveniences. It feels to me like an abomination against Nature that I should exist so separate from her. I've always been a 'first principles' sort of person. Whether it be mathematics, shelter construction, food production or high technology, I'm never comfortable till I can do it from scratch.

Behind all my complicated and ever-shifting plans for the future, there's a very simple spiritual need to respect, love and live close to this land of ours, and most of the ways of life I'm drawn to are simply excuses to relieve myself of this practical ignorance that leaves me helpless as a child in landscapes where I feel I belong and yearn to be.

It's important to me to figure out what I really want, because when I understand myself I find I'm either already where I need to be, or one step away.

So why does my ignorance of the ways of the land bother me? Because I always have to come back to the city. I have no skills to survive where I so long to be. I am helpless in the land of my birthright.

[beev]

Ray Mears is good, but he always makes it look so easy. As soon as you go out and try to build that cosy shelter using just acorns and grass, you start to look pretty silly

Apart from Ray, people who were good at this stuff (our ancestors) were good at it because they grew up with it, because starting fires and building shelters and hunting for food is all they ever knew since childhood.

You don't need to become an expert in these things. I one knew a woman who used to walk everywhere. She walked across America and would think nothing of killing a snake for breakfast. It must have seemed like the perfect life of freedom - until she caught malaria (in Brazil).

Living in a community such as the one at CAT, you don't need to know how to pluck a rabbit or whatever. Just being there and being willing to help is usually enough. It's what you should do if you really can't stand the city. Just remember that no place is perfect and life is always full of challenges.

And even communities have politics

[SherryMayo]

Ever since my trip to Snowdonia and to C.A.T., I've been missing the quietude of the great outdoors. My mind is beginning to home in on something, some primal desire to be away from the city and all its conveniences. It feels to me like an abomination against Nature that I should exist so separate from her. I've always been a 'first principles' sort of person. Whether it be mathematics, shelter construction, food production or high technology, I'm never comfortable till I can do it from scratch.

Behind all my complicated and ever-shifting plans for the future, there's a very simple spiritual need to respect, love and live close to this land of ours, and most of the ways of life I'm drawn to are simply excuses to relieve myself of this practical ignorance that leaves me helpless as a child in landscapes where I feel I belong and yearn to be.

Wow, Tess, this post really rang true for me. The "first principles" thing and not feeling happy until you can do things from scratch - sounds just like the sort of thing I would say. These days I find I too feel anxious and insecure about my inability to do the basics - eg finding/growing food and also about my distance from the natural environment in everyday life.

I've spent my working life at the more high tech end of things as a research scientist but I am increasingly at odds internally with the high-tech world and the notion of the march of technology/progress (not that I am against technology per se - far from it). I have this strange sense that this internal wrestling is like I'm pupating - churning up and reforming and I'm not entirely sure what kind of bug I'm going to emerge as at the other end

I guess what I'm trying to say is: take heart, you're not the only one.

[RevdTess]

Ray Mears is good, but he always makes it look so easy. As soon as you go out and try to build that cosy shelter using just acorns and grass, you start to look pretty silly

Actually I've been on a Ray Mears course, and they are really really good - in the sense that they create in me an awareness of wild surroundings and skills that are somehow comforting, even if (currently) rarely used.

It's about time I booked myself on another one I think.

I'm a big admirer of Ray and of his students who also teach. There is a common attitude to the world, wilderness and land that I fit perfectly within.

Apart from Ray, people who were good at this stuff (our ancestors) were good at it because they grew up with it, because starting fires and building shelters and hunting for food is all they ever knew since childhood.

You don't need to become an expert in these things. I one knew a woman who used to walk everywhere. She walked across America and would think nothing of killing a snake for breakfast. It must have seemed like the perfect life of freedom - until she caught malaria (in Brazil).

While there is no practical "need" for me to become an expert in these things, there's no denying the psychological pull that insists that I learn these skills.

There's no need for a person to study theology and become a priest either, but nevertheless many are called to that vocation. And these things are vocations.

re: the malaria woman: If you're living the life you're called to, who cares about the risk? I might get run over by a bus tomorrow. What good is it to hide away and risk nothing? I am not that person.

Living in a community such as the one at CAT, you don't need to know how to pluck a rabbit or whatever. Just being there and being willing to help is usually enough. It's what you should do if you really can't stand the city. Just remember that no place is perfect and life is always full of challenges.

And even communities have politics

Communities are interesting places for sure, and for years I thought that it was my goal to live in one for its own sake. But my current realisation is that for me they are only a means to an end, specifically a place to grow, to cross-fertilize, to learn new skills, to have a base from which to reach out, a half-way house where one can pick up skills of living with less abundance, less waste, less total disregard for others, less wealth.

As for "just being there and being willing to help", sometimes that is enough, but I would prefer that to be a short time, as my natural tendency is always to want to be at the forefront of some field or other - this will go with me whatever I do. Any community offering me a place would be taking on a burden in the short term I should think. I am motivated to make that short term as short as possible, though this is a catch-22. The only way to learn is by doing, not thinking.

You are preaching to the choir re: the politics of communities. I ain't seeking utopia and I'm not seeking outside for answers that are only found within. On the contrary I'm feeling compelled to express externally the peace within me. I could be content anywhere, but I enjoy this motivation to find equilibrium, and I'm happy to let it drive me.

The external and internal drive each other, and what you see in me at the moment is an external life lagging behind the changes in my heart and mind. I have found that problems ensue when people try to fix themselves by changing external circumstances - their problems almost always go with them. In this instance for myself I believe the change has already occurred.and it is only natural that my changed nature must now tumble down a different path.

[Bandidoz]

....I've been on a Ray Mears course....

Are there any details available?

[GD]

There's a link on his own website:

www.raymears.com

He runs a variety of them.

[DamianB]

For me, it's also a more direct contact with the changing seasons that is beneficial. When I lived in London, insulated from what I can now see are subtle weekly changes in my environment, I suffered mildly from SAD. This has now disappeared and the cycle of growing food from March to September and the recuperation period (for me and the soil) from October to February means I relish the changing pace of nature.

---------------------------------------------------------

http://www.feel.org/articles/biophilia.html

Biophilia & Emotional Well-Being
Patrick Flanagan, M.D. & Gael Crystal Flanagan, M.D.


Does where you live influence how you feel? Can you suffer from nature deprivation? Try closing your eyes for a moment and imagine the bright, beautiful colors of autumn trees, the sunlight dancing on a mountain creek and the smell of fresh air on a fall day after a long walk in the woods. If you find yourself relaxing and feeling a pleasant surge of energy welling up inside, then you are experiencing ?Biophilia,? an emerging area of scientific research.

Science is finally catching up with those of us who have known for years that gazing at serene natural landscapes has great health and psychological benefits. It?s also a good way to relieve the stress and even transcend the emotional blockages in our lives and make us feel good again.

[RevdTess]

Wow, Tess, this post really rang true for me. The "first principles" thing and not feeling happy until you can do things from scratch - sounds just like the sort of thing I would say. These days I find I too feel anxious and insecure about my inability to do the basics - eg finding/growing food and also about my distance from the natural environment in everyday life.

I've spent my working life at the more high tech end of things as a research scientist but I am increasingly at odds internally with the high-tech world and the notion of the march of technology/progress (not that I am against technology per se - far from it). I have this strange sense that this internal wrestling is like I'm pupating - churning up and reforming and I'm not entirely sure what kind of bug I'm going to emerge as at the other end

I guess what I'm trying to say is: take heart, you're not the only one.

Thanks. It's good to hear from other people going through this. I'm sure you will pupate into a very beautiful bug

Like you I'm not against technology at all. I'm not even sure that I'm particularly nervous about the high-tech world disappearing or weakening any time soon. I think I just have some kind of spiritual need to not be totally reliant on it. I think this is because my reliance on my high-tech skills removes my ability to live close to the landscapes that I love. I am forced into a soulless existence. Comfortable to be sure, but soulless.

I keep thinking that there must be many people in this situation, and I wonder whether someone should set up courses aimed at making this specific transition. I know there are dozens of survivalist courses, and permaculture courses, and so on, but somehow these all seem to be pulling in different directions. I'm looking for something that is ... holistically tailored to my needs.

[RevdTess]

There's a link on his own website:

www.raymears.com

He runs a variety of them.

Also http://www.woodsmoke.uk.com/ which is run by one of Ray's students. I went on one of these - superb experience.

[RogerCO]

Try this
http://www.diggersanddreamers.org.uk/
there may be something to suit you...

[Bandidoz]

Ever since my trip to Snowdonia and to C.A.T.

Did you visit Electric Mountain at Llanberis?

[RevdTess]

Did you visit Electric Mountain at Llanberis?

No I walked past it several times and decided I would rather go up Snowdon.

[RevdTess]

Try this
http://www.diggersanddreamers.org.uk/
there may be something to suit you...

Oh there is. In fact it was finding places on the diggers website that triggered this post in the first place. Specifically, http://www.grimstonemanor.co.uk/ looks exactly like the sort of place I might fit in, though it would probably take me 3-4 years to reach a point where I was comfortable to give up my career and make the leap.

What I'm trying to do now is find ways of learning the skills and raising the finances to make any such leap both possible and sustainable. Sustainability is the hard part. My career is such that it would be very difficult to pick up again once laid down, therefore if I leave the rat race it must be in such a manner that I am not forced to try to rejoin it at a later date.

I'm also aware that in leaving the rat race I would lose the benefits of wealth such as mobility, and the ability to escape from painful situations by throwing money at a problem. Therefore I feel motivated to learn flexible skills beforehand and to try to understand myself as well as possible, so I know exactly what is the core of that which I'm seeking.

Some people would just say, "Too much planning! Jump now!" and I have sympathy with that view, but I'm not that kind of character. It's not that I need safety nets, I just dread finding myself in a dead end and having to reverse course.

[RevdTess]

http://www.feel.org/articles/biophilia.html

Very interesting article. I think I only disagree with its implication that a quick walk in the woods is sufficient to enable us to stay content living in a city. Why would we want to be content living in a city? I certainly have no desire to 'fix myself' so I can stay right where I am. This is the same attitude that treats symptoms without looking at the underlying cause.

No! I won't accept the temporary fixes offered by the system to patch up the problems it caused in the first place! There must be a different way!

[isenhand]

I think I just have some kind of spiritual need to not be totally reliant on it. I think this is because my reliance on my high-tech skills removes my ability to live close to the landscapes that I love. I am forced into a soulless existence. Comfortable to be sure, but soulless.

I keep thinking that there must be many people in this situation, and I wonder whether someone should set up courses aimed at making this specific transition. I know there are dozens of survivalist courses, and permaculture courses, and so on, but somehow these all seem to be pulling in different directions. I'm looking for something that is ... holistically tailored to my needs.

Never really sure what people mean by spiritual need but I think too much of one thing is bad for you. It?s nice to have a mixture of things from plants and animals in the home to walking in the forests and up mountains. I?ve done quite a lot of that, even the survival stuff like building my own shelter and skinning rabbits. I also like to know how things work and why. In the end I never feel dependent on technology but dependent on other people and this planet.