A job description written by The Ministry of Truth!!

[kenneal - lagger]

I have just had the following job advertised to me by LinkedIn even though it's a couple of weeks past the closing date! Even the job title seems ironic to me given that the job is with Syngenta! Do they have a sense of humour, albeit warped, or do they have no sense of irony?

Environmental Fate Technical Expert

Job description

About Syngenta:

Syngenta is a leading agriculture company helping to improve global food security by enabling millions of farmers to make better use of available resources more sustainably. Through world class science and innovative crop solutions, our 28,000 people in over 90 countries are working to transform how crops are grown. We are committed to rescuing land from degradation, enhancing biodiversity and revitalizing rural communities.

About this job

This is an exciting, high impact role, supporting Syngenta’s expanding portfolio of world class products and expanding our scientific capabilities. The successful candidate will identify solutions to techno-regulatory challenges, produce risk assessments and associated documentation for regulatory submission to support the successful development of Syngenta products across the product lifecycle.

They will lead the Environmental Safety input into projects and will actively contribute to the development of the scientific and technical capabilities of Environmental Safety and the continuous improvement of the organisation and its staff.

Internal and externally facing the individual will:

Work with internal stakeholders across disciplines and organizational boundaries to develop integrated environmental fate and risk assessment positions and advocate these to project teams, partners and internal stakeholders.
Utilise predictive models to calculate environmental exposures and provide information for regulatory use or to aid exploratory, development and business decisions.
Represent the Company in meetings with external regulatory agencies to discuss and address their questions and concerns.
Present innovative research and positions at scientific conferences.
Deliver high level science inputs to business teams and the Product Safety organization to support the management of technical issues.
Some international business travel is required.

Qualifications

Capabilities

Problem formulation
Creative thinking
Collaborative working
Integration of complex data sets
Able to work across technical disciplines
Advocacy
Can manage project risks and uncertainties in a changing environment and is comfortable with making the difficult decisions that result.
Is able to lead and develop others and work across technical and organizational boundaries.

Knowledge and experience

Degree in a relevant area of science or related experience
Able to demonstrate most of the following
Knowledge of the environmental fate of organic compounds
Experience of conducting modelling exposure assessments
A basic understanding of ecotoxicology and an understanding of the purpose of exposure modelling in risk assessments
A high level of numeracy.
Some knowledge of the environmental risk assessment requirements and current EU and/or Global pesticide regulations would be advantageous.

Syngenta will offer:

Campus environment
Competitive salary & benefits package
31.5 days holiday
The opportunity to work with and learn from highly qualified and experienced employees

Closing date for applications: 25th August 2017

[emordnilap]

I like to kid myself that, if I had the qualifications and opportunity, I would never go for such a job.

Which reminds me of an acquaintance who worked at a nuclear power plant. His justification for doing so always fell back on, "If I don't do the job, someone else will." Oh, and a fantastic salary!

[kenneal - lagger]

I would like to think that I would go for an interview and tell them all what a bunch of deluded gobshites they are!

[emordnilap]

I would like to think that I would go for an interview and tell them all what a bunch of deluded gobshites they are!

Yes but I suspect it wouldn't be easy if you have big £ signs in your eyes.

[kenneal - lagger]

Having retired and being comfortable financially I like to think that I would be able to go through with it. I would like to think that my ethical conscience would push me on as well.

[emordnilap]

The wording is such that they're looking for someone malleable, unsurprisingly.

Of course, there are thousands of people out there who believe GMO companies' propaganda, just as many believe extra CO2 in the atmosphere will bring benefits. The first paragraph in the ad. is 101% bullshit.

These are companies that produce chemical war weapons and, in 'peace' time, have to survive by adapting those weapons to another enemy, nature in this case. The consequences of war and peace weapons are, of course, irrelevant.

Profitability is the only - the single, there is no other - criterion.

[kenneal - lagger]

We are committed to rescuing land from degradation, enhancing biodiversity and revitalizing rural communities

If they were that committed they would just stop trading because it's their own products which are causing all those ills!

[fuzzy]

Even a zero hours min wage job advert nowadays opens with a paragraph of PR buzzbollox. This is far more important than saying where a job is, when it is, and what it is - to the scum who run everything.

[RenewableCandy]

That job is precisely the one taken by the main character in one of my stories!

It seems I can't write dystopian fiction without some b***er using it as an instruction manual. And that particular tale isn't even published yet...